I am not saying that it was John’s fault that our 14-year- old son brought the swine flu to Tokyo on our summer vacation at the height of the swine flu craze, or that my son and I were put in a Japanese research hospital, where from the space suits the doctors were wearing, it seemed like they thought we were carrying anthrax. It’s just that John wanted the very best for our kids—for them to experience an exotic culture and learn to eat the fish heads that he ate for breakfast there, so that they would never be described as a “picky eaters.”

The kids are begging to go someplace “normal.”

We are currently discussing our next vacation. Could be frosty. More on that later.