The vet called this morning alarmed that Zar has ballooned up to 109 pounds from 90 pounds in just six weeks. She ran an extensive panel of blood work, certain of a thyroid condition, but turns out Zar’s blood was “gorgeous,” and guess what? He just eats too much. No more table scraps! the vet says, which puts a stop to the roasted Whole Foods chickens that my mother brings the dogs to win their favor. Zar has a variety of issues—skin conditions and allergies and separation anxiety and now he’s required to eat only a certain hypoallergenic white dog food and white bread and rice if he has indigestion. How do you keep him separated from Daisy, who eats ordinary brown dog chow? Please. A dog who only eats white food? I can’t lock him outside while Daisy’s eating—he wails for her and you know how our neighbors call the police.  I may have to risk a trip down to the station. Fortunately, ‘tis the season and the dogs are wearing jingle bells around their necks, which ward off those nasty coyotes and I don’t have to babysit them in the yard. Should Daisy be denied her chickens and eat white food, too? How am I ever going to finish editing The Incompatibles?